About Us

Hi, I'm Christa, a 20 year narcissist abuse survivor.

This is my story...

It all started when I was just 17 Years old...

I was intelligent, outgoing, and ready to take on God’s plan for my life— a plan that I hoped would lead me into service, a loving marriage, and lots of children. And then, I met what I thought was my prince charming. He did and said all the right things, But what I didn’t see was that beneath all of that, seeds of doubt were being sewn into my confidence as an individual, and my focus in life was shifting. Suddenly, I couldn’t remember what I truly wanted out of life, except to keep him happy.

He told me how no one truly ever understood him, friends had betrayed him, his parents didn’t affirm him, and he just needed a break. He said I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. But intertwined with the promises of forever were the snarky jokes about me needing him and the biting tone and irritation whenever I made a mistake, or he didn’t get enough attention. I ignored concerns from my family and friends about the red flags they were seeing, and I dove right into planning a wedding.

Shortly before the birth of our first child, he finally got the big breakthrough he had been waiting for and took a job that would move us 9 hours away from family and into a new state without any support system. He promised that this would be the break that would finally alleviate his stress and allow us to be the happy family I craved. We moved when our son was five weeks old.

He threw himself into his new career, and I was forced to work as a night shift nurse to pay the bills. I worked at night and took care of our son during the day. We continued to accumulate debt, and he became more and more unstable in his moods from day to day. Things were good when we went to nice restaurants, bought new clothes, and took expensive trips, but things went south when I would ask him to help out around the house, talked about budgeting money or anytime family came to visit.

After our daughter was born, things began to unravel even more. His rages and mood swings were more intense and frequent, and I walked on eggshells every day, trying to keep the house perfect and the kids quiet to not send him into a rage. Things finally hit a breaking point when he threatened to kill me and the kids during a trip to visit our family. Fearing for our safety, I took myself and my children and went home to my family. Our marriage was broken.

Over the next several months, he worked hard to find a solution for his mental issues, sought the right help, and tried hard to mend our relationship. We attended marriage counseling, and he rejoined our family in hopes of starting over and making things right. This was a great time in our relationship, and I hoped that this was the solution I had prayed for and that maybe his promises of change would actually come true

But it wasn’t long before the cycle started again. This time, we needed to move further from family because they “meddled” too much, and it was MY job to run the home, continue to work my night shift job, AND support his career while raising our children. I gave up hobbies, struggled to make friends, and spent all of my time looking 3 steps ahead to make sure nothing happened that would put him in a bad mood or cause his anger toward me or the children.

On the outside, we looked happy and “normal.” I was expected to post our happy pictures on social media so he received the attention and admiration from the community that he felt he deserved. His career once again stalled, and we were forced to pick up and move again. Of course, it wasn’t his fault. He blamed it on the work environment, the toxic co-workers, the long hours, and I spent hours boosting his ego and reassuring him we would find another place where he could feel fulfilled.

At this point, I was barely running on fumes. He continued to have mood swings and rages, which grew so intense I became fearful for my safety and for the safety of my children. He always apologized, made an excuse, and told me he would change. But change never came.

Baby number 6 was unexpected, and while the pictures portray a happy family, the rage and anxiety that existed inside the walls of our home was unprecedented. I lived on pins and needles daily, while outwardly portraying a loving family involved in church, sports, and school activities, but on the inside, I was desperate for help, desperate to tell someone what was happening and to find a place of safety and peace for my children. I knew it was unsustainable, and in my desperation, I began to read about narcissism.

What I read shocked me, and it was like opening a door to hell that I had been living in for the last two decades. Once I soaked in all the information and realized that it was an unhealthy situation for myself and my children, I made a plan, found my support system, and left. Yes, there have been battles, and it’s been a long five years of navigating through divorce, legal battles, custody struggles, emotional damage, financial hardships, and huge life changes. But the freedom and peace that I experience in my home and family has been worth every minute of it.

Fast forward five years, and I am older, wiser, and ready to share my story to help others who are experiencing narcissistic abuse. The knowledge that I’ve learned and the experiences that I’ve had have shaped who I am today and have had a profound impact on my children. And while I’m not the same person that I was at the beginning of this journey, the 17-year-old girl who was so full of hope and promise still lives in me, and I look forward to the future with confidence and joy that the best is yet to come.